The love letter series: the last one

I have decided to stop loving you. It’s the first step to freedom. Freedom from the pain. I have decided that I will forget you. Because I know you will forget me. Just knowing that makes me want to forget you. I know you won’t stop me when I get up to leave. You won’t say ‘no my life doesn’t work without you’. So then why stay right? I am tired. I want to lay on a beach with the sun burning into my skin and not feel anymore. I just want to be light again. I feel heavy. With all this emotion, with all this love. This love is like rocks tied to me and it will drown me. It’s like I am wrapped up tightly. I can’t breathe. I need to breathe again. I need to sleep a good night’s sleep again. I would rather be sad but at peace again. I want to be free from the jealousy, pain, hurt, and longing. I don’t want to care anymore because it’s killing me. And I don’t want to die. I love you. But I don’t want to die.

No longer yours