It’s Friendship Day tomorrow and obviously it got me thinking about friends. As I have grown older, my definition of a “friend” has changed greatly. When you are younger, you are more accepting, less judgmental and have a non-existent ego — and hence friendships are easier. You love everybody and everybody loves you. But as you start growing up — you start sweating over the small stuff. She likes the same boy I do, he didn’t stand by me when i needed it, etc etc. We start holding on to stuff that we feel is the wrong done to us. We start judging people, and we surely don’t want to forgive. We have our rights and wrongs and we want our friends to abide by our rights. It’s all a bit messy.
Today, i have a few friends, whom i can really call my friends. This also includes people who i may not talk to everyday but whenever we do talk, the love is palpable. I have realised friends are the ones who warm the cockles of your heart, not make you question “why the hell am i friends with this person, who actually really doesn’t even like me”. We live hectic lives and to expect a friend to always be there just to talk about how the rain is making you depressed or to handle your PMS woes is unreasonable. But once is a while, have that conversation too. I have set a few rules that i follow with my friends — I don’t compete with them, i never compare my waist, my face, my salary or my love life with theirs, I don’t take notice if they are acting like douche bags as long as they come back to their delightful selves in some time, i try and not judge them, i try and work out my anger at something they have done internally (cos most of the times it’s all about elevated expectations), I try and be there for them, i am generous, and i forgive as soon as i hear a sorry. I do expect the same from them, but if i don’t get it, it’s cool too, because i have realised friendship can’t have expectations. It just doesn’t work then.
My favourite friend TV show has to be Sex and the City, just because all these girls were so different and yet friends. They fight, they let the other know what they really think of them at times, they get disgusted at each other — remember the time Carrie walks into Samantha’s office and sees her servicing the courier guy. She is super disgusted. But they don’t stop being friends. I wish that in the matters of friendship, we could just remain like kids — simple and uncomplicated.
My friend shout out is to the usual suspects and also some unusual ones. 🙂 I love my school friends Nomeeta and Sukhmani was being the same people to me they were in school — brutally honest, non-judgmental and full of love. My college friend and now bestie Samidha Sharma makes me believe in the term friendship, because if the rules of supposed friendship were applied, we should not be friends at all. But we beat those odds and today love each other too much. Soul sisters forever. (Anurag too…he is the sweetest) There is Gitanjali, who i don’t see as much i want to, but is one of the rare people who i know will be there any time i need her. Her willingness to help people is inspiring. Nishita Jha who is the friend i can talk to about all my obscene thoughts, and all the mad stuff in the world. Unedited obviously. Love. Neha and Swapnil for being the best travel partners to kishore and I, and the best, uncomplicated friends ever. Sunaina, who is the best person to hang out on any day of the week as we talk of books, books and so much gossip. Fun times. Ritesh, who is my grumpy, but awesomly talented friend — and hanging out with whom is one of my favourite things. Dhruvi Shah, who is the easiest person to work with and is a gem of a person. love. Tanvi of Tanvii.com, someone i have met only once, but her words of encouragement and love keep me going on. She often makes my day by reading my blog or just saying hi. Love to you. That brings me to all the people who read my blog, my fb and just give so many words of encouragement all the time. It’s awesome — you know who you are (Read tanushree Ghosh…you are too sweet :)). Shruti, you keep my spirits high with your positive affirmations. Thank you! Anamika, even though we haven’t met for a while, i see your life going great and i am soooooooooooooooo happy for you. You deserve everything good. Gunjeet Sra, who has become my phone friend and who i know is going to be a great person to hang with once am in delhi. People will be scared of us!! Nischal Pathania, why can’t you and your sweet wife live in India yaa!!! same comment for Jatin Sodhi…you are rosalie should just come and live in Bombay, or maybe K and i should come and live in the UK! There is Sharmeen Hakim, who makes me feel young again and Ishita Mookherjee, who called me the other day to tell me about a new, expensive bag she bought! She is sooo me! There are soo many people i want to send my love toooo — and if i missed anyone here, i apologise.
Freak, this is a long list and it suddenly made me realise, i have a lot of friends and that’s so cool. There is one person left and that is the Big B — Kishore Banan, my husband, my partner in all kinds of foodie crimes, the only person i can sit with and listen to music and make an evening out of it, the only one who makes me laugh like there is no tomorrow, who thinks I am the freaking best person on the planet (same to you honey), who likes me despite the fact i am so totally psychotic.
Happy Friendship day everyone. Maybe drop a line to your friends tomorrow. For now, listen to a song that’s dedicated to all my girl friends and boy friends. You are gonne like this one!